---
layout: 2col
title: what I'm up to now
permalink: /now
menu: me
menu-title: now
show_footer: true
---
{% include layout/now.html %}
---
## journaling
I'm about halfway through my first thicc journal (more of a [commonplace book](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonplace_book) really) and my first bullet journal, both of which were started in June of this year. I picked up the journaling habit (again) back in March, so I have two other journals I finished before this one (both A5 size), but this is my first thick journal of this style (it's square with grid pages). I'm really enjoying writing again -- I thought I wouldn't have much of anything to write about, but being able to go back and look at how I was feeling a week or a month ago has proved really useful for my own well-being and mental health, so I'm very happy with where I am on this habit currently. ![<3](/img/emoji/pastelhearts.gif)
## therapy
I applied for therapy back in October of 2023, right after my dog passed away, but their waiting list was so long that I have just recently been assigned a therapist. the anniversary of her death is coming soon (Oct 1) and we'll be doing some work on that, in addition to working on a bunch of other stress-related stuff I've been going through, so I've been looking forward to that, albeit apprehensively. I honestly really believe in the therapy process, as it's helped me a ton, but it's never like...*fun* to do this kind of work on yourself. it's a lot of introspection and can be painful to reckon with emotions you've been trying to bury, but it ultimately is good, so I'm committed to doing it. ![rubbing eye while crying](/img/emoji/singletear.gif)
## fountain pens
I recently brought my bujo to bed to jot down some stuff before I fell asleep and knocked it (and my sparkly pink jinhao fountain pen) off the nightstand in my sleep and broke the lid of my sparkly pink jinhao ;w;
about two days after that incident, I was unscrewing my other pink jinhao pen and the lid separated in my hands...so I guess I won't be buying any more of these. they're cute pens, but if they're going to fall apart in my hands, then I don't see the point of wasting money on them...I'm pretty upset about it, and now I have too much ink and only three pens (idk if I really need three though, so maybe i'll just rotate inks x3) I will, however, be testing the cartridges that came with them to see if they fit my platinum little meteor pens, so maybe it won't all be for naught. (and if they *do* fit then I may just splurge and get some other colors of the little meteor I've had my eye on.) ![x3](/img/emoji/x3.gif)
## this website
got the site converted over to [jekyll](https://jekyllrb.com/)! I'm having a much easier time with it as opposed to [zola](https://www.getzola.org) (which is what it used to be powered by). It's written in ruby as opposed to rust, which I have more experience with, and seems to be better documented; at least, for a beginner like me it is. ![:'3](/img/emoji/singletear.gif)
Now I can focus on [blagging]({% link blog.html %}) more often and building up some of the other [ideas]({% link _pages/plans.md %}) I've had! ![purin with kicky leggies](/img/emoji/purinleggies.gif)
## gaming
Started playing [Nurse Love Syndrome](https://vndb.org/v7301) even though I haven't finished [Kindred Spirits on the Roof](https://vndb.org/v8508). I kind of have the itch to read through a VN lately but none of them are really grabbing me for whatever reason...I've also been pretty depressed lately, so maybe that has something to do with it? ![cri](/img/emoji/cri.gif) I *have* been considering picking up Animal Crossing: New Horizons again, though. I *barely* played the DLC when it was released, so maybe that would be fun to get back into? ![shrug](/img/emoji/shrug.gif)
## recovery
I recently had [shingles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shingles) and that took a ***lot*** out of me, so I've been mostly just recovering, lounging about, and trying to have energy/feel better again so I can do more stuff around the house and work on projects/art/journaling... ![exhausted](/img/emoji/exhausted.gif)