commit 4fbbef0bf73267d32f05c40b348bb108dca4cd7b Author: Debian Date: Thu May 1 17:54:49 2025 +0000 init diff --git a/barista-guy.jpg b/barista-guy.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2ad64ab Binary files /dev/null and b/barista-guy.jpg differ diff --git a/index.html b/index.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2f10da4 --- /dev/null +++ b/index.html @@ -0,0 +1,90 @@ + + + + + + + + + + I Will Punch You + + + +
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+ Providing FREE punching since
19 aught' 6. +
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+

Why Punching?

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+ A photo of a person in a moose costume being hugged by a lady in a touque and gloves. It's _not_ winter +

My name is John PunchingMan, a maverick in the realm of alternative therapies. + As a result of great moderation and feedback by the people I paid 700 dollars to write good feedback about me, I determined that a good punch can solve a lot of problems. I have unlocked the secret power of punching people, and want to share it with the world, for free!
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+ Through my extensive searching on bing, I discovered that punching people at random, with no set duration or schedule, makes that person's bloodflow improve by 7,000%. It is also the world's best cure to wanting to look purple for only like, idk a week i guess.
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+ As a believer of science, I know that free, untimed and irregular punches of an unspecified duration, to an unspecified part of the body makes you feel amazing about your day; Which is why I feel amazing about offering this service, around the globe, for free!
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+ The non-believers can SUCK IT! JOHN WON AGAIN! JOHN DID IT! JOHN MADE PUNCHING A SCIENCE! +

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Look at all of these satisfied members!

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+ + + I never agreed to this
+ -- yas c. + + + Please don't post me on your website
+ -- michael, the guy suing me + + + + Why did I allow this
+ -- a dumbass fox + + + + that'll be 27 dollars
+ -- my barista + +
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+

Get in touch

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no
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if you would like to opt out of being punched, please open my document at + opt-out-document-that-i-am-legally-mandated-to-have-on-my-website-for-whatever-reason.pdf, and remember that you are weak and a coward because you don't like being punched, and need to make it my problem +

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+ this site is a parody and satire. i'm not sorry. seriously. i'm not, because this doesn't exist. Image credits, Barista is by Benzolx on freepik, the moose & the lumbarjack are by cira, yas c. is yassie, and kio is obv. kio. if your name is John PunchingMan and you want me to change the name, please open up opt-out-document-that-i-am-legally-mandated-to-have-on-my-website-for-whatever-reason.pdf and opt-out +
+ + + + \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/kio.png b/kio.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2148733 Binary files /dev/null and b/kio.png differ diff --git a/lumbarjack.jpg b/lumbarjack.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cad0953 Binary files /dev/null and b/lumbarjack.jpg differ diff --git a/me.jpg b/me.jpg new file mode 100644 index 0000000..87ffb8b Binary files /dev/null and b/me.jpg differ diff --git a/opt-out-document-that-i-am-legally-mandated-to-have-on-my-website-for-whatever-reason.pdf b/opt-out-document-that-i-am-legally-mandated-to-have-on-my-website-for-whatever-reason.pdf new file mode 100644 index 0000000..15ad889 Binary files /dev/null and b/opt-out-document-that-i-am-legally-mandated-to-have-on-my-website-for-whatever-reason.pdf differ diff --git a/style.css b/style.css new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7c86e38 --- /dev/null +++ b/style.css @@ -0,0 +1,101 @@ + + +body { + margin: 0; + background: #0f0f0f; + color: white; + width: 100vw; + height: 100vh; +} + +#head { + background: slategray; + padding: 1rem 2rem ; + display: flex; + justify-content: space-between; + align-items: center; + position: sticky; + border-bottom: 1px solid rgba(255,255,255,.5) +} + +#head .center { + font-size: 30px; + font-family: "Nanum Myeongjo", serif; +} + +#head .right, #head .left { + display: flex; + width: 15rem; + justify-content: space-around; + align-items: center; +} + +#head .right span, #head .left span { + cursor: pointer; + -webkit-user-select: none; /* Safari */ + -ms-user-select: none; /* IE 10 and IE 11 */ + user-select: none; /* Standard syntax */ +} + +#head .right .pp { + font-weight: 700; + padding: 5px 10px; + border: 1px solid white; + background: darkgreen +} + +#splash { + background: #2f2f2f; + height: 85vh; + display: flex; + justify-content: end; + align-items: center; + padding-right: 15vh; +} + +a { + color: white; + text-decoration: none; +} + +#splash .rh { + width: 25vw; + text-align: right; + font-size: 60px; + position: relative; + right: 0; +} + +#splash .rh .free { + text-decoration: underline; +} + +.block { + padding: .5vh 5vw 2vw; +} + +.innerblock { + display: flex; + justify-content: space-between; + align-items: center; +} + +.innerblock p { + width: 50%; +} + +.light { + background: #2f2f2f; +} + +.punchcrew { + display: flex; + align-items: center; + justify-content: space-between; +} + +.punchcrew .person { + display: flex; + flex-direction: column; + align-items: center; +} \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/yassie.webp b/yassie.webp new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0e6084f Binary files /dev/null and b/yassie.webp differ